Once in a Blue Moon
by Wolfbaneshybrid
Summary: Wanting to get far away from the wizarding world after a botched mission, Remus finds himself in an unhealthy relationship with a Muggle. Sirius is searching for the werewolf, but his duties as Mrs. Norris's Guardian Angel are slowing him down a bit.
1. Spontaneous Combusteous

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by the author, J.K. Rowling. I gain nothing from the writing of this fanfiction, other than a deep sense of self-satisfaction.

Pairing: RemusxOC, RemusxSirius, Sirius... Mrs. Norris!

Rating: M. I'mnot wasting time withwarnings, because this is an R (M, whatever) and you should know what you're getting into when you decide to venture into slash-land. I will warn you about how graphic the slash will become when I actually write it, just to give a little heads up so that you don't end up getting caught in the missing scene of that dicovery channel special about the mating habits of wolves.

A/N: Okay, this is my first attempt at slash, but I'm hoping it won't end up being a bad one. I'm pretty sure I'll get all the body parts right. Hey, all I've got to remember is 3 minus1 equals2(dirty joke... never you mind that). I hope you like it as much as I enjoy writing it! I'm still fiddling with the plot, so nothing is stone-solid. Sorry if I don't update; I'm lazy. The events of the sixth book really come into play later on (next chapter), just so you know that I'm trying to be at least a little bit canon about this. With that said and done, enjoy!

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* * *

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Dear Moony,

_I'm sorry that I can't come and see you this summer, I'm really busy with homework, new spells and books, you know, the usual._

_(If you are unable to find the humor in that, then please escort yourself to the nearest hospital immediately)_

_Sorry, I couldn't resist myself. Everybody misses you and Prongs says for me to remind you to do your potions homework. Wormtail didn't say anything worth mentioning, or anything that sounded relatively human, so enough about those two._

_How have you been? _

_Stuff here's been… hectic, to say the least._

_It's like I'm a fly stuck in a bowl of salsa, it's so hot, and I want to leave, but I can't because it tastes so good with tortilla chips._

_(If that made any sense, please floo yourself to St. Mango's immediately. Instantly. RIGHT NOW!)_

_Please write back, we're all waiting to hear from you, and if you don't, I'll be mad at you when we get back to Hogwarts._

_Sincerely,  
__Padfoot_

Remus chuckled lightly before folding the paper, putting pressure on the creases gently, lowering it back into the old, wooden chest a few inches away. It was another useless artifact of the past, another letter that had passed from Sirius to Remus through owl and had never been answered by the young werewolf. One of the things that he had been famous for during his youth, other then his surprisingly weak will power against Sirius and James, was his ability to procrastinate longer, and more effectively, then any other person in Hogwarts.

It was a title that followed him through his entire life, whether that was a bad or good thing he was still trying to decide.

" Never leave that till tomorrow that which you can do today." Remus recalled the quote from a book he'd read on Abraham Lincoln once, a famous American icon, though just a very tall, stern man to Britain. As Remus quietly whispered the words, he felt a bit of sadness well up in his throat.

He tried desperately to cough it out, but to no avail.

' **_Well enough.' _**He thought to himself after closing the chest and flicking his wand to snap the lock shut. **_' It was bound to happen sooner or later, anyway.'_**

Remus sat himself down on the wrinkled and soiled bed that was in the middle of the room. It was a small room, and only fit a dresser, a queen sized bed and the chest that he had just been inspecting, but it was comfortable enough.

He positioned his long, pianist fingers on the place where the forehead meets the hairline, expectantly pushing across his scalp, wanting to feel the light rush of his long, graying hair against his hand. But as his fingertips were greeted with only a rough, scratchy surface, he felt another wave of disappointment run through him.

' **_I keep forgetting that it's all gone now.' _**Remus thought, images of the muggle electric shaver in one hand and a dirty, cracked mirror in the other came to him briefly before fading away again. Why exactly he had done it was still a mystery. He was quite drunk—or was it high? —at the time, making everything a blur.

The only reason that he could think of at the moment, in the midst of sorrow and what could have been a hangover, was to try another futile attempt to erase the feeling of _his _touch on his body.

' **_But which one's?'_** Remus thought bitterly to himself as he brushed away a few forming tears that threatened to fall from his red and irritated eyes. This wasn't the time to get emotional, not when David was supposed to be at the apartment at any minute and by that time Remus was expected to be gone.

Remus gave an audible sigh before standing up a bit shakily and walked over to where his coat lay suspended by the corner of his faded brown dresser. He glanced quickly over to the door that led to the bathroom, not willing to walk over to it and turn the doorknob, knowing that he would probably be confronted by the catastrophe of what used to be his full head of hair.

' **_David is going to be pissed when he sees that mess.' _**Shivers went up the length of his spine and back down again before he pushed the fear that was beginning to mount inside him down and began the walk through the bedroom, across the living room and out the front door.

Remus—after walking down the concrete steps and past the next-door neighbor who was about six cats away from being evicted—spent the next half hour speed walking the tedious two and a half miles of sidewalk and pavement to his graveyard shift at the local 7 Eleven.

The pay was not very high, and the cashier was shot at an average of three times a week, but it meant that he could disappear at night without being questioned by David: including on the night of the full moon.

Once he got inside the building, hearing the familiar 'ding' caused by the bell that hovered over the automatic door like a vulture hovered over an army fleet of half decayed animal corpses, he proceeded to walk through the opening aisle that led to the smaller ones and over to the store's bathroom across the building.

The current cashier, who adorned a badge dubbing him 'Earnest', looked up from behind his book and mountains of pimples long enough to ask a drawling, " Where'ya goin', Lupin?"

" Gotta take a leak." Remus muttered as he strode past his co-worker. Earnest gave a grunt in reply before hiding behind his book once again.

Remus reached the door labeled by a stick figure man with a few bumps for the people who could read brail. With a hesitant hand, he reached forward and turned the knob, popping himself in quickly and slamming the door shut behind him. He released his tense knuckles from the bronze orb and made his way to the mirror lying idly on the wall in front of him.

The reflection in the mirror had much to be desired. Shallow cheekbones led down to a thin neck that was doing its best to support a rounded, though long, head. Amber eyes had long since been quenched of the fire that once burned in them. The golden flecks were still visible, giving the eyes a certain accent that seemed to draw attention away from the rest of the body.

One long, thin finger trailed its way over to the edge of his shirt collar from underneath his heavy jacket. The tip of the finger brushed against the skin hidden by the shirt as Remus flinched visibly. He softly pushed down the edge of the collar, bracing himself for what would probably be there.

Pale flesh was marred by the imperfection of a large, discolored bruise that made its appearance from under the black t-shirt.

' **_God… I didn't know he had hit that hard.' _**Remus thought with a groan as his hand reached up impulsively to his head. He frowned once he realized what he had unintentionally begun to do and patted the gray fuzz of what remained of his hair in regret.

With a few quick movements and the flick of his wrist, the large, tattered brown coat was cast aside and left to lie on the cold tile. Remus heaved a heavy sigh before shakily reaching down to the brim of his shirt and toying with the cloth there in a attempt to stall his mind from it's current objective.

' **_One… Two… Three!' _**In one fluid movement, Remus managed to let go of his shirt, grab his coat, put it on and swing open the bathroom door with just enough time left for a worried hand to travel towards his head only to fall back down in disappointment.

With a deep breath and a shudder, he walked slowly over to the counter, looking over at Earnest with slight interest.

" So… What are you reading today?" He asked as the younger male's attention shifted from the book to Remus for a few brief moments, taking in the new hair-do and pasty complexion with a nonchalant grimace.

' _**You're procrastinating again—'**_

" A book."

' _**It's not that hard, how do you expect—'**_

" What book?"

' _**To solve your problems if you can't even—'**_

" 'Night of the Full Moon'."

' _**Confront them. Wait, who said there was a—'**_

" 'Full Moon'? Wolves?"

' _**Problem? It's not a problem, it's a—'**_

" _Were_wolves to be exact. I've always been into the super-natural freaky stuff that goes on around us without us noticing. Who knows who could be a vampire, or a wizard, or even a werewolf."

' _**Habit. My God, he's talking about werewolves.'**_

" Sounds like you're just paranoid."

' _**Muggles.'**_

" Seriously, take you for example. I've never seen you work during the full moon, you have an uncanny ability to fix things that are broken with minimal effort and, to top it all off, you have a taste for blood."

' _**But that's not the point, the point is—'**_

" 'A taste for blood'?"

' _**That it shouldn't be so hard to look at your own—'**_

" Yes, I can see it in your eyes. You have that kind of bloodlust that is only common in vampires and those suffering from psychosis."

' _**Flaws. Every time you manage to screw up—'**_

" You've got to be kidding me. Are you suggesting that anyone, anywhere could be a character from an old horror film?"

' _**You get what you deserve. It's that simple—'**_

" No, I'm just saying that it's always a possibility. For example, in this book the main character is a werewolf who can live among humans simply by acting like one."

' _**Acting like one?'**_

" Are you suggesting that just because this character is a werewolf, he isn't human anymore?"

' _**That little—'**_

" Why? Does that _bother _you?" Earnest elongated the 'bother' and took delight in seeing Remus's eye give the slightest of twitches.

' _**But that's not the point—'**_

" Of course, sounds like a witty statement about racism rather then a poor quality science fiction book."

' _**The point is—'**_

" Of course." Earnest said with a grin, eagerly jumping over the counter and landing with a 'thop' on the other side. Flashing a quick smile over in Remus's direction, Earnest began walking towards the automatic doors and the open night air now that his shift was finally over.

" You know," He paused right before exiting the double doors to look at Remus. " The full moon is three days away."

' _**That you—'**_

Remus returned the gaze, then turned away, only looking back in the young man's direction once he was able to see Earnest walking through the doors and out towards temporary freedom from the confining building. Only then did he dare respond in a quiet tone, " I know."

' _**Can never replace him.'**_

* * *

After eight strenuous hours of slurpee junkies, porn addicts and people who had nothing better to do at three a.m., work was finally over, which meant both the relief of knowing that he had made it through another night at his job without getting shot and the fear of going home and facing what was certain to be waiting for him there.

' **_Out of the freezer and into the frying pan… Or was it out of the frying pan and into the fire? Out of the plastic and into the microwave, out of the bread drawer and into the toaster… Way to forget your euphemisms…'_ **Remus almost chuckled aloud at his inner dialect, but stopped himself as the decrepit house came into view.

It seemed too easy to procrastinate when he was farther away from the towering building, but the problem was starring down at him with 4 rectangular eyes, following each and every step forward he took like a predator stalks its prey.

" Fuck." He let the curse word fly numbly from his parted lips as he shook his head vigorously to try and stop the fear from caving in on him.

' **_God, god, god, god, god, god, god, god…' _**That word punctuated each footstep in Remus's mind, at this point not caring if it was blasphemous or not having long since given up on the hope of there being a divine anything.

' _**If they have a heaven, they wouldn't let a demon in.'**_

His fingers trembled against the cold doorknob as he turned it. The quiet creak of the rusty hinges was the only sound in the room as Remus let himself in and closed the door behind him.

" Listen, I can explain—"

" What the hell was that bloody stunt?"

" I was really drunk, and I didn't know what I was doing and—"

" So you smashed the bloody _bathroom _in!"

" I—" Remus paused mid sentence, " _What_?"

The room seemed to come into focus again after Remus heard that last sentence. The fear ebbed away, rapidly being replaced with the comfortable knowledge that he didn't know what he did wrong; therefore, he couldn't be completely blamed for it. It also meant a few more minutes of extra time.

In front of the relieved and slightly confused werewolf was the mess that accumulated to create the 'living room' of their tiny house on Beckard St. The contents of the room included a old, gaudy couch acquired from a curb one Thursday morning, a wooden table stand complete with large, yellow lamp with painting's of rustic flowers on the bottom, a 25-inch Yamaha color TV resting on top of a black plastic table, a ceiling light and, last but not least, was one very pissed-off boyfriend.

' **_Ouch!'_ **Remus thought, inhaling sharply as he felt a large hand wrap tightly around his wrist and pull him forward, leading him off into the bedroom and then into the bathroom.

" Holy…" Was all that the werewolf could manage as he saw what was supposedly their bathroom.

Pieces of white ceramic lay scattered across the broken tile, made even more obvious by how 3D they looked against the thin layer of water spread out and still across the floor.

' **_So that explains the wet carpet…' _**Remus flinched as he took another look at things in closer detail, taking advantage of his 20/20 vision that was perfectly flawless.

The white sink, which once stood erect, was now standing nearly upside down, tilted at a grotesque ninety degree angle that made one wonder how it even kept from breaking in half. The mirror was, more or less, still intact at the frame while the center of it lay amongst the debris. The toilet was steadily losing all of it's 'life fluids', spewing the chlorinated water all over the floor drop by drop as the bathtub joined in the charade, liquid leaking from the shower head all the way down to the bath tub's bottom before sidling it's way out the side through a large crack running down it's middle, huge chunks missing from their places.

" I mean… for fuck's _sake_, Lupin! Did you use a fucking _sledgehammer _or something?" David asked, more then a bit exasperatedly.

' **_God I… I don't remember anything!' _**Remus thought as panic began to come back to him, though by now he knew he had nothing to fear since David didn't sound angry, just confused. **_' Humans fear what they do not know. Don't let your guard down… And goddammit, don't think of him that way, either! He's not the monster in this room!'_**

" Oh… Fuck! I… I don't know! Maybe it wasn't me! I mean, seriously, do you really think I could… crack a tub in half while it was still attached to the _wall_? I… I don't even have any cuts or anything or evidence or… Jesus!" He was stuck and more confused then ever. **_' It couldn't have been me… The only way that I could have managed that was if I were a—'_**

David let go of his vice grip on Remus's wrist when he felt the man give a slight tug against the hold.

" Hold the phone…" Remus whispered as he took a step forward, his brown leather shoes making small splashes in the tiny lake that had formed. He knelt down carefully and placed his index finger along the end wall of the small bathroom where the wallpaper had been torn apart in three horizontal gashes.

' **_That's impossible…' _**He thought in utter disbelief. **_' The full moon's in three days, I couldn't have done this.' _**His amber eyes scanned the room again, catching onto something that seemed to peek his interest as he scuttled over to the toilet. David watched the spectacle with a raised eyebrow, not exactly sure what to make of it.

In silent horror, Remus allowed his fingertips to brush over the holes on the base of the toilet. **_' A bite mark…'_**

" What's that?" David asked and Remus shook his head and promptly stood straight up, hearing a satisfied crack from his knees.

" You know," David grinned as he watched his lover walk over to the doorway and stop next to him. " Your new style takes off about ten years from you." Remus couldn't help but smile at the comment. It was partially true—the lack of his normally ragged, graying hair did make him seem younger, but it also seemed to bring out the dull lifelessness that had set into his features as of late.

' _**So he knows… Thank God he likes it, I thought he wouldn't. I guess it's… okay. It will take awhile to adjust to, though.'**_

" Thanks." Remus replied happily, smiling as a warm arm found its way around his neck.

" No problem." David said softly as he leaned forward to give Remus a kiss on the cheek. " We'll worry about this mess in the evening. Right now, let's get to bed."

" Don't you have work?" The werewolf asked with concern. They were already so close to being evicted, and David wasn't exactly the VIP of the packaging company.

" Jesus, all you do is worry, don't you? Work can wait, but I don't think I can any longer." Remus allowed himself to smile at those words.

' _**I love you, too.'**_

* * *

" Fire me, will you! I'll tell you what, I'll fire _you_, you… bloody ugly buggers!"

" Mr. Cohen!"

The man stopped halfway down the halfway to pause and look back at the elderly woman who dared to confront the enraged janitor.

" Mr. Cohen, _what?_" He watched in slight delight as the old woman's cheeks puffed up and her lips pouted before she stuck up her nose and turned the other way. He continued his incoherent mumblings and angry shouts all the way down the elevator to the floor of the 'Unspeakables'. When a guard asked for a pass, the man promptly gave him the finger and went staggering by with just enough time for the guard to say a rushed, " Another fine day, eh Mr. Cohen?"

" Stupid Ministry… Stupid Aurora's… They think they can outdo me in magic! I'll show them, I'll show them all! I'm better then ALL of them! … Damned doors! Bloody hell, how am I supposed to know where to go!" The man ranted on as he randomly opened one door, as the others began to spin rapidly around.

He gave the door a good shove, falling through and doing what he would soon describe as, " Damn! I fell on my arse!"

Now, Mr. Cohen was not what some people would either call a 'pompous idiot', a 'stumbling drunk' or a 'potential threat to society'—No! He was just a simple man who made an honest living as janitor for the Ministry of Magic—not the use of the word _'made'._

He no longer makes anything, except for the three… or five… or nine beers he had this morning. Yes, he had managed to successfully pull the tab and drink with minimal effort and no assistance, spurred on only by the knowledge of the inevitable.

He was going to get fired.

" I can go on without all of you! ALL of you! Yes, that even means _you_, large blunt object!" Mr. Cohen pushed a large blunt object to the ground, smirking malevolently at the loud sound it made as it hit the polished floor. He spun around with such velocity that he nearly fell to the ground again, but he managed to catch himself just in the nick of time. As his head continued to sway around once his body had come to an abrupt halt, Mr. Cohen chanced upon something that he had undoubtedly seen before.

" I remember you… You're the weird thing that swallowed the LAST damn Janitor… She was my cousin, you big, creepy jackass!" Mr. Cohen gave the cloth that was dangling lazily from a larger stone arch a good kick, a strange sensation running up his foot as it went straight through the darkness (nothingness) that swarmed on the other side.

" To hell with this! To hell with _you_, scary cloth!"

And, without further notice, Mr. Cohen pulled his wand from his blue uniform pocket and, summoning one final gasp of breath, shouted as loud as humanely possible for Mr. Cohen.

" SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTEOUS!"

The next morning, all that Mr. Cohen could remember was a big explosion and how to tie his shoes.

* * *

_  
continuons...? _


	2. Monsieur Noir

* * *

" Ugh… Where am I?" Sirius mumbled, patting his head thoughtfully to make sure that it was still there. He expected to feel achy, but instead—much to his surprise and delight—he felt absolutely nothing at all. **_' Strange…'_** He thought as he held up a hand in front of his eyes and, expecting to be greeted by the depressing sight of yellow nails chipped at the edge connected to ten long, bony and pale fingers, instead seeing a flawless hand, unblemished and perfect. 

Sirius suddenly got the very strong urge to scream for help, so he yawned to try and keep himself as down to earth as possible.

" Amazing. You can bring them to a higher plane of existence and yet they still get bored if they don't see something exploding or boobs. Humans." A voice from seemingly nowhere snorted in mock disgust, or perhaps actual disgust. Sirius didn't really want to know, nor did he particularly care; the voice reminded him of Severus too much.

" W-who are you? What do you want with me!" Sirius demanded, but it was a weak demand. He was still staring transfixed at his beautiful hands, his eyes beginning to trail up his arms to notice the fluorescent glow that seemed to flow from them.

"You're not one to stutter, Mr. Black. Let's see… Age: 50, height: 5' 9'', weight: 195—you are a rather thin man for your age, Mr. Black. Luckily, weight does not matter here—nor does age, or height, or skin and hair color. It is not your appearance that we judge here, Mr. Black, it is what is _inside_." The voice whispered the last word and it floated around Sirius, echoing _inside_ him as if he were hollow. As if there was nothing inside.

" In… side…" He said, like it was a new word that he was trying to discern the true meaning of.

" Unfortunately, we didn't find much. You're not the first, Mr. Black—it seems that most of the Dementor victims have been emptied when they finally arrive here, though most of them don't make it here at all. A lot of them take the wrong stairway, if you catch my drift." Sirius nodded numbly. Those Dementor's apparently took a lot more out of him then he had originally expected.

" The good news, however, is that what we _did_ manage to find wasn't all that bad. Kindness, selflessness, courage, independence—nothing really wrong with dependence, though—, concern, bravado, and trace amounts of actual love… But not all of it was good, either. A fair amount of you was constructed of bitterness, betrayal, hatred, anger, _lust_, blasphemy, recklessness and quite a bit of suicide roaming around that head or yours, not that we can really use that against you. I suppose it gets everyone every once and awhile… Anyway, to put in simplest terms, you are standing on floor level. From here, you can either take the escalator down to the parking lot, or ride it up onto clothing and appliances. This, as you may already have figured out, means—"

" Who are you?" Sirius asked again. The voice stopped talking abruptly, and didn't start again for a few seconds. He guessed it was because he had offended it in some way. **_' Least I haven't lost my touch.'_**

" Sirius…" The voice said gravely, and it felt as though the invisible head of the speaker were leaning in closer to his face, examining it closely. Who knows? Maybe that is what it was doing. And Sirius could have sworn he felt a light breath on his neck. "I am your _father_."

" W-WHAT!"

" Hahahaha!" Laughter boomed from every direction, the h and a's flashing briefly all around him before vanishing into the darkness. He didn't find anything funny. " I couldn't help myself, you humans always react in such ridiculous ways whenever I say that."

This was the last straw for Sirius, and he stood up suddenly, not stumbling around on weak, disintegrated legs like he normally would have.

" Enough of this bullshit!" He shouted at the nothingness. "Who are you and WHY THE FUCK DID YOU BRING ME TO THIS HELLHOLE?"

The air turned suddenly malevolent, and the ground seemed to tremble, though it did not move. Inexplicable fear filled Sirius, not replacing the emptiness, but overshadowing it briefly. The speaker did not appear, but if he were able to see who it was he didn't doubt that it would be a face contorted in fury with small, astute eyes that knew all glaring at him and seeing right through his nothingness just like he had seen only the nothingness of everything around him.

" YOU WOULD DARE CALL THIS PLACE HELL!" The voice boomed and Sirius covered his once ugly hands over his ears. But even that did nothing to prevent the full sound of the noise: screeching, yet somehow still graceful. " YOU, WHO SHOULD BE BANISHED THERE YOURSELF!"

" Okay, okay! Enough already! Jesus, I'm sorry, okay—?"

" DO NOT SPEAK BLASPHEMY HERE, BLACK!"

" Fine! _Shucks_, I'm _awful_ sorry, Mister. Won't happen again, honest to _gosh_." Sirius let a sarcastic smile slide across his features, remembering how Remus used to substitute words like that all the time back in Hogwarts whenever a teacher was nearby. Remus was always the good one.

Then why wasn't Sirius in hell?

" Humph. I do not know how you managed to make it here, Mr. Black—Scratch that, I _do_ know how, but for the life of me I do not know _why_." The voice spoke again and a blinding light flashed all around, causing Sirius to hold up his hands to shield his eyes. Once again, this did not do anything to protect him and the light seemed to pierce his eyes with a beauty so brilliant that he could not help but think of it as ugly.

It didn't make sense to him, either.

" You want answers to your questions, Mr. Black?" A small, glowing speck of pure white light appeared before his eyes, steadily growing bigger and bigger, taking shape into a ghostly figure.

" Yes… That's all I want." Sirius said resignedly, taking his hands away from his eyes and looking at the figure with some difficulty. Somehow, the light smiled down at him as two large extensions of the being (whatever it was) encompassed his confused and tired, empty body.

" Yeah fucking right."

* * *

Remus opened the door wearing the face of one who has just been woken up by the unpleasant sound of the fire alarm and the equally horrid smell of smoke. Somewhat tragic and terrified, somewhat angry and aggravated, but mostly wanting to just fall back into a peaceful slumber to the melody of the fireman's axe against the bedroom door. 

" Excuse me?" He yawned, suddenly conscious to the fact that whoever was standing in front of him was moving their mouth, but more aware of the familiar emblem on the person's jacket that announced them to be an official member of the Ministry of Magic. **_' God, what time is it?' _**The werewolf glanced down at his watch long enough to see the long hand on the twelve and the short hand pointing at the eleven, reaching out to the number only centimeters above it's tip as if to try and touch it like it's longer brother could. **_' Poor little devil, he'll never quite be able to catch that eleven…'_**

" I said… are… you… Mr… Lupin?" Remus nodded to the question, taking note of the person's stern continence and prominent brow. With gray hairs shooting out of his head in a crazy afro and small, bushy mustache, he looked an awful lot like Einstein. Remus mused over this similarity as a letter was handed to him that was difficult to take from the firm hold. It was as if the man were made of stone.

" Who's it from?" The man looked around uneasily, his steel gray eyes slowly shifting back and forth. Then he leaned in close—close enough for his breathe to touch the side of Remus' neck, causing a very uncomfortable silence in the time it took for the man to properly formulate the words.

" It is… from… the… Chosen… One..." Remus lurched back (which he had been wanting to do for quite some time, what with the unusually loud breathing, awkward speaking and overall lack of respect for his personal bubble). **_' Ch… Chosen One! Ha-Harry!' _**He ripped open the letter, not minding the stinging pain in his index finger as the sharp edges cut him. The man grunted and took a step back. He looked up at Remus with a look that was almost longing, then turned and lumbered away. **_' Harry, my goodness… Harry! Harry Potter!'_**

He allowed himself one hysterical laugh while unfolding paper from inside the letter. How? How had Harry managed to find him? He had been careful as to not let anyone, including Harry, know of where he was or who he was with. No one had known. At least… He _thought_ no one had known.

_Dear Remus,_

_Sorry for the delivery, I'm not allowed to use Hedwig. It isn't safe anymore, so I guess you'll get this letter late. Actually, I've just received my Daily Prophet from last month today! But what I read… is it true? No, I know it is. Mr. Weasley told me that it was when I asked, but I didn't know about it until I got the Prophet! I've been at the Dursley's all summer. I suppose it's a kind of goodbye for my dysfunctional family, but I need to get away from the wizarding world one more time before leaving the one I know so well._

_But, Remus! Did Greyback really—_

Remus didn't read any farther, just shredded the letter where he stood and watched the bits of paper fall to the ground like obese snowflakes. His paper cut stung, so he brought it to his lips and sucked on it absently, watching the person who had delivered the message waddle along and then suddenly pause and crouch down hurriedly (must faster then Remus thought he would be able to go).

Cloth disappeared into thin air, the faint noise of footsteps echoed in the abandoned streets, once perfectly pink flesh had turned a deep, unhealthy gray and then skin morphed into stone. **_' I should have known… So, it isn't safe to send an owl out with a personal message, but a member of the Ministry can just waltz along the avenue with a letter from the "Chosen One".' _**Remus smiled at the irony as the footsteps neared and a woman appeared around the corner, glancing at him and then the impossibly large, round rock that was sitting contentedly (literally) on the sorry excuse for a lawn next door.

Remus waved.

The woman picked up her pace until she was out of view.

The rock turned back into a man. Cloth appeared from thin air, the noise of footsteps grew faint in the abandoned streets, once gray flesh turned a vibrant pink and stone became skin once more. **_' A golem…' _**Remus mused, still sucking his finger. Able bodies must have been getting tight in order for them to allow a golem—one of the closest ancestors to trolls—to become a member of the Ministry… _real_ tight.

" It's times like these… that I wish I still got the Daily Prophet…" He whispered to himself, but a strong wind that raged through the streets, howling like a distraught wolf, caught the words. Remus watched them float away silently. His amber eyes looked remarkably like the golem's at that moment. Cold, distant and yearning. But it wasn't their fault. They were born that way. At least… The golem had been. Remus wasn't so sure about himself. He wasn't so sure of anything anymore.

Except for that goddamn pain in his finger.

He entered the house with one thought on his mind (**_' Band-Aid.'_**), but soon exited once again when he remembered what was left of the bathroom and the cabinet that once held the band-aids. He lifted a hand to his head and ran it through the fuzz there. The remains of Harry's letter looked up at him from the ground where they had fallen, giant and irregular flakes of paper dandruff that seemed to represent their tiny counterparts that used to thrive in his mess of brown hair. Somewhere on his body, a fading bruise began to ache once again. His eyes watered. The paper cut throbbed.

" Remmy?"

He looked up, tears already heavy in his lids and about to slip from their restraints. " Oh, David!" Remus fell into his boyfriends' arms and swallowed the chokes and sobs that had burdened him before. He still felt achy, heavy, miserable, depressed, desperate and sore all over, his finger still pained him in the small, annoying way that paper cuts did… but he managed to hold back his tears. For another day. **_' For… For Sirius, myself… And James… Lily, Dumbledore… Harry… But mainly… mainly for Sirius…'_**

" Remmy! What's wrong?" David sounded surprised and put a hesitant hand on Remus' shoulder, either not noticing or not caring about the way it flinched away from his touch. He patted the werewolf comfortingly and Remus crooned in response, whispering something indistinct. The touch suddenly turned cold, and the soothing pats turned into a hard grip.

" Were you thinking about him again?" David asked in a voice that made Remus shiver. The grip tightened.

" N-no. Of c-course not…" But it didn't sound very convincing, not even to Remus. He felt like whacking himself on the head to try and dislodge the horrible rattling of his words. The stuttering flashed a neon sign above his head that read 'LIAR'. But David mustn't have seen the glaring lights, already blinded by the way Remus's shoulder felt underneath his heavy, work-worn hands.

" Don't worry, it'll be alright…" He trailed off, letting his hand fall further down the shoulder to trace the ridges of the spine. " You know that I love you, right?" The hand glided effortlessly past the waist of the ragged jeans his submissive lover wore. Remus nodded quietly, almost pathetically. **_' Yes, I love you so much.'_**

" Not now." Remus croaked out, suddenly aware of where David's hand had traveled.

" I thought you loved me, Remmy."

" _Don't you love me, Moony?" _

Sirius' voice echoing in his head almost made him scream, but he held it in by biting his lips, unconscious to the pain as his canines cut effortlessly into the bright pink flesh. Blood dribbled down his chin, mingling with the small hairs of his unshaven chin.

" I do. I really do, but I have to go back to work." The neon sign flashed its intoxicating colors aggressively.

" You were just there a few hours ago! And I'm home early, so why should you have to leave when I'm here?"

' _**Hypocrite.'**_

" It isn't that, I just don't want them to fire me. You know we can't afford that."

David glared at him with cold, calculating eyes and for a second Remus felt his heart stop beating. His mind chanted words over and over again (**_' Please, I'm sorry, please, I didn't mean it, don't David, don't hurt me, please'_**) like the refrain of a mantra. Then the glare stopped and Remus relaxed, catching his breath so that he wouldn't let out a sigh of relief.

" Fine. Later."

" Yes," Remus smiled and pulled himself out of David's arms, feeling relieved as the man retracted the hand that had been groping him lustfully. " Later."

" Jesus, Lupin! You're bleeding!" David exclaimed in alarm, and Remus brought his hand up to wipe the trickle of blood from his chin. He starred at it, mesmerized. His tongue wrapped itself around the sharpened end of a jutting canine, feeling the smooth edges. It seemed larger than before (although they had already been unusually large). Pushing it back into the far end of his mind, thinking **_' It's just the pull of the moon, only two days away now'_**, Remus gave David a quick kiss goodbye before striding down the steps to the abandoned street, ignoring the pain in his gums and lip from the tooth.

* * *

Hot and sweaty, tired and sore, Remus padded his way to the door for the second time that day. His 'shift' had been unusually short at 'work', possibly because he could only walk around the block a million times before getting bored. He figured that David wouldn't make a fuss and wouldn't think that he had been lying about having to go to work that day. He figured right. When the man had his mind on one thing and one thing only (sex), he didn't care much about anything else. The world could be ten minutes from exploding and all David would probably think about was getting a good lay. 

Sometimes it didn't matter if it was with Remus or not. That was supposed to bother the werewolf, but it didn't really. Sure, when he came home from work in the morning to find that his half of the bed was being occupied by some buff blonde stud or bi-curious punk not even fresh out of high school he would get so angry that he would actually begin to pack up his things quietly (as to not wake the sleeping _couple_) and look for the next ticket out of London. But something deep inside him didn't stir—didn't hurt him with the same searing pain it had when Sirius had cheated on him. It stayed silent: it didn't snarl or growl or slink away with its tail hung pathetically between its legs.

The knocks increased in volume and urgency, so that Remus had to jog over painfully. **_' Please don't let it be something with Harry… Please, not Harry…' _**The certainty that this was the problem grew in him with each agonizing step until he was sure he would burst.

" I'm coming!" He shouted desperately, turning the knob just as the knocking ceased.

The door swung open and rain poured in from the outside, shooting off of the figure in front of him in tiny droplets.

"Oh no…" Remus moaned and covered his eyes with his hand as if blocking the image out would make that person disappear. He peaked through his fingers. It didn't work.

"Moony…" The person swooned and took a few tumbling steps into the small house, wobbling underneath a heavy, wet coat they wore. "I love you."

Remus looked more repulsed then he intended.

"Just get inside, Tonks."

_

* * *

continouns…?_


End file.
